Being in a relationship is never a function of age, but of maturity and when the individual has discovered purpose and assignment. Dating without a mission is suicide.
Dating for mere friendship is to eat the rice without waiting for the stew/soup to get ready. Marriage is a platform of two prepared folks on an assignment with each other, and when you are prepared and ready, you will know.
The pressure of $.ex is pushing lots of youths into relationship. Most often, they are not truly looking for marriage or something long term. The motive in most cases is the desire to have someone around then, who they can call their own, hang around, share their hearts, and feel loved.
They just want something for the present loneliness. The problem with this is that although this is achieved in relationships, it IS NOT THE PRIMARY PURPOSE OF RELATIONSHIP. We do not go into relationship for OURSELVES, we go into relationship to be able to achieve our greater purpose in life, MORE EFFECTIVELY AND EFFICIENTLY.
Relationship is not an end to itself, it is simply a means, a gateway to achieving something greater in life, which often reflects in our calling or assignment on earth. The union of these two lives under the caption of “two are better than one”, become better at achieving these goals and target, than if they had worked or walked alone.
When the primary purpose of relationship is just ourselves, we miss the ultimate. Worse still, we kill the very thing we seek. So we soon find out that the loves, and feelings, and romance …and eventually, all the $.ex, leaves us unfulfilled. This is why I advice that a person matures by knowing his/her assignment, purpose and call, before plunging into relationship. Get a focus before asking for a partner to the focus. Get an assignment before asking for help from someone in the assignment. Get a mission before seeking a companion for the work. Get a destination before asking for a co-traveler. Get a firm relationship with God that is loaded with values before seeking a relationship with man.
With this clear perspective, all other things – love, romance, $.ex, will be added in godly dimensions. But to have love, romance and $.ex without this perspective is to build an illusion that will not last.
So please do not rush and date someone simply because you FEEL love. Get maturity, build values, and be clear on your mission. This way, when the opposite $.ex comes your way, it is even easier to make an informed choice that is not sentimental or coincidental.
By Tekena Ikoko,
Convener of Single But Not Stupid.